I have been asked to post on how I am doing so far.
Surprisingly, I have been coping. Already having a child has been a good primer for me in many ways. First, Hazel has taught me that birth plans never go as planned. She taught me that what you expect to happen with a pregnancy, birth, and care of a baby will always test your ability to adjust to change and the unexpected. She taught me that you will no doubt feel disappointed, but if you keep your eye on the big picture, the small stuff really does not matter. I feel lucky to have such a wonderful life coach in preparing me for the curve balls that come with creating a family.
Yesterday I came home from the hospital and exhaustion hit me hard. When I'm overly tired the tears come a'pouring.
Can do this for another month or more? Can I produce enough milk? Why couldn't I still be pregnant and carry them in my belly longer? Will they forget their "twinness" after being separated for so long? What if something goes wrong and the news will be bad one of these days?
Hazel saw me crying and showered me with love and attention, kisses and hugs. She wiped my tears (which is a funny scene because Hazel does not have tears that run down her face, so they are a novel thing for her). She snuggled in next to me. Of course, that made me cry even more. It was a moment I will never forget.
Physically, I am still recovering which has been slow but sure. Walking is slow going and it takes me a good three minutes to get in the right position to get out of bed and walking forward. I have stopped the pain meds for the most part, helping me keep a clear and alert head. I am trying my best to heed advice and get rest, eat right, and drink tons of water.
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